What Nobody Knows
by Amnesia Nymph
Summary: Drabble. My own take on what was going through Natsuki's mind before and after she kissed Shizuru during episode 25. Why deny the love of the person whom you love the most? ShizuruNatsuki


Disclaimer : I don't own the characters.

Summary : Drabble. My own take on what was going through Natsuki's mind before and after she kissed Shizuru during episodes 25. Why deny the love of the person whom you love the most? ShizuruNatsuki

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**What nobody knows**

**By**

**Amnesia Nymph**

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Behind me I can hear Duran fight Kiyohime. I try hard to keep myself from turning around, turning back out of this fight. I know what has to be done and there's just no way of avoiding what fate has in store for me. I am truly sorry Shizuru. From above me I can now hear something fall down towards me, something big. I stop chasing after Shizuru to look up. A large bell is falling down. As it hits the ground and makes sure darkness surrounds me I close my eyes.

After swallowing away the last bit of my doubt I open my eyes again. There's still nothing but darkness surrounding me but I know that it won't last any longer. I may not have shown her but I know her. Shizuru... Did I even try to apologize for what I've done and said to hurt her like this? Suddenly I hear her voice from the other side of the bell that's still holding me as its prisoner. _I won't let you go, you're mine. _I hear her say before something or someone destroys the bell around me completely. I close my eyes as I feel something surround me.

Somehow I do not fear my sudden attacker. After all, I had already seen this coming. I open my eyes again to look straight into hers. She doesn't smile yet her expression doesn't look pained either. It's a mix from both of them. Since when had I start to become this alert and aware of the details around me? Finally a small smile appears on her lips but it's gone the moment it had appeared. Finally she pulls me closer.

I let myself fall into her arms as I see her put away her weapon. No words are spoken and the only sound surrounding us is the sound of Duran and Kiyohime fighting behind us. I pull away from her embrace a bit but not completely. It feels like hours are passing by as I stare into her eyes while it were only a few seconds before I finallt press my lips to hers. She isn't replying to my kiss. Just as I had expected, she's finally waking up from the 'trance' she had been in.

A few more seconds later I end the kiss by pulling away. It's hard to look at her, I feel so confused right now. Never before have I ever felt like this but I can't tell her. Not yet. Our fate is keeping me from becoming like her. I can't reveal my feelings towards her just yet. It wouldn't be right. As a HiMe I'll have only one thing to be true to and that's this destiny, this fate I've been fighting for.

I hadn't lied when I told her before that the reason I hadn't become like Nao was because I had Shizuru and the others to support me, to be with me when I needed friends to listen. I hadn't been completely truthful back then. Mai and the other HiMes have become close and great friends to me but you... I look at Shizuru. She's staring back at me as if she knows what I am about to say. _You're really different. _I tell myself as I try to find the heart to tell you more lies.

''Shizuru you were the first one to come to me when I was unable to believe in anyone.'' I start. ''But I can't have that feeling you wish I did. Even then, I am happy that you loved me. I also love you, Shizuru.'' _Lies, all damn lies. No, I do love you Shizuru. _Just because I had chosen my words carefully she'll never know the true meaning behind them. Atleast not for now. Not today.''So...'' I go on as I turn my attention to our fighting Childs behind us. I can see Duran's eyes focussed on me as well. _I am sorry._

''DURAN!'' I yell. ''Load Silver Cartridge!'' Next to me I can hear her shocked gasp. I am truly sorry Shizuru but only one HiMe can win these _games. _I turn my head back to face her. I don't want to see the scence behind me any longer. As if my life depended on it, which indeed did, I pulled her closer to me. Embracing her. I don't know if she still thinks I hate her, maybe she misunderstood my feelings for her earlier but I am sure she knows now.

''I am happy.'' I hear you whisper. I just smile before closing my eyes. I no longer can hear Duran and Kiyohime behind us. It's over. For now. I've seen people disappear before and I know for a fact it should hurt. My heart should ache as I am disappearing but I don't feel a thing. All I know and all I can feel is this girl in my arms. Shizuru.

''I'll leave it up to you now, Mai.'' I add to my last words as slowly everything turns black...

**The End**


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